Y3 D235

So stressed out. 8:25am and I am already stressed out. Fuck this. I just realized I miscalculated a shit ton of bills and the dates they were going out versus when I get paid next. Fuck. I fucking hate a 26 paycheck cycle. It so screws me up. I am thrown off and am looking at a possible issue by Wednesday at the latest. Wonderful.

On top of it I am frustrated with TGF. I am frustrated that she is either embarrassed about us as a couple or afraid of what other people think and refuses to introduce me to her friends. No, I can't get over it, okay? I am tired of her hanging out with these other people and me sitting at home alone just because she is worried they will judge her. This isn't one of those I just want time alone things. This is flat out not wanting to be seen around her friends with me. It's been six fucking months. Goddamn, can you believe it's been six fucking months?? Two more days. I know this is her longest relationship ever and frankly outside my two marriages it's mine too but come on girl. Get over it. Learn how to be in a relationship. Yes, I am venting and I am pissed off right now. I am cranky, frustrated, worried, stressed, hungry, afraid, lonely, and all those other lovely things that come when one wakes up alone and realizes that shit is not where it is supposed to be in the morning.

Happy fucking Sunday to me.

Spent the majority of the day inside yesterday. I went out once. That was to the grocery store to get some food stuff to feed me and the kid. She worked worked from 10pm to 4am again yesterday. She hung out around the house most of the day moping about her boyfriend. He too needs to learn how to be in a relationship sometimes. Maybe we just have too high of expectations for the people in our lives. Or maybe they could learn to be more empathetic to other people's feelings. Or maybe both.

Watched a ton of Angel and Buffy. Finished season 5 of Buffy and one more to go for Angel in season 2.  I will finish something in my goddamn queue. Other than that all I did was clean house and kick people out.

I just want to be alone for the next few days. Hide in my cave. Weather the storm that's approaching. Be invisible. Let's see if TGF comes over today or even calls. I know she spent the night at her friend's house. Which means hell she won't even get up for another three or four hours.

Fuck I am frustrated.