Y3 D242

The  infamous and wise "THEY" always say "if you're going through hell, just keep going". I assume it's under the assumption you will eventually make it out? This technically is bogus thinking because Hell has no end. It's not a geographical location with boundaries. Therefore if you are going through Hell you will never leave it and it will just continue to suck. Lucky for me I don't believe in any of that meta-physical bullshit. Took all day but I finally snapped out of my mood. I think it helped that I dumped on a friend everything that was bugging me and acknowledged a couple of things that I didn't realize on the surface were actually bugging me down below. That helped.

I spent the majority of the day cleaning and being pissed at the kid - who I also spoke with last night. I got up around 6 and started in with laundry and cleaning and organizing and moving things around. By 9:30 I was pretty much done. I had scrubbed and bleached the bathroom, did all the laundry, etc. I ran out to run an errand around that time and had left the kid's hamper full of clean clothes by her door. While I was cleaning I heard her and the boyfriend both come out on separate occasions to use the bathroom. Yet there was the hamper of clean clothes still in the hall in front of her door. That's when the anger started. It really is a good thing. When I take mopey and it turns into anger, it helps. It gives me an outlet for the depression which helps me get back on track. I was also pissed off because when I saw into her room I saw the stacks of clothes still on the floor. No, I am not just whining because her room was 'messy'. I am bitching because I spent a good portion of my day on Friday buying and assembling a new dresser for her just to have it sit empty and the clothes on the floor. THAT pissed me off. Especially when all her and KBF did was sit on the couch watching TV leaving dirty dishes in my sink. Really? You don't fucking see me cleaning the whole house? You don't take that as motivation to either offer to help or take care of your room? W. T. F.

Since I was pissed I went out. I went to look at sheets. Found a cheap set for $11. Very nice sheets though. I think today I am going to go donate like four sets of sheets to Goodwill. When I got back I finished my room and attacked the kitchen. THEY were still sitting on the couch. Anger bubbling. I rearranged all the cabinets in the kitchen and threw out old tupperware - stuff that was stained, no lids, etc. Then I reorganized the gadget drawer, the silverware, did two loads of dishes, and cleaned things up. Even theirs. They took off somewhere for a while during all this. I think because I was freaking them out. They could tell I was pissed off but they were being dense in knowing how to deal with it.

Around 5 my friend texted me and invited me to go hang out at the new restaurant she is working at. Fuck it. I need out the house. TGF btw had a dance competition all day. She actually went home Friday night to make sure she could get enough sleep. It was an all day kind of thing. Starting at 11 with hair and makeup and going until around 9. So she was busy all day. She did call a couple of times during the day which was nice. I hit the restaurant around 5:30 and dumped some of the above on my friend. THAT'S when the depression started to lift. Once I got it all out. Had a few drinks, some nice smoked salmon, and a cheese plate. Didn't over do it, didn't go nuts. I will say, I like some of the food at this new place, I like the atmosphere, and I like the people who work there. The clientele though? Ass wipes. Everything I have worked to never be surrounding me all night. Pompous arrogant snotty assholes. Ordering pompous drinks. Complaining. Talking about bullshit meaningless things. All looking the same like a little clone factory. Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky tacky...

Left around 8 because I couldn't take any more. Came home and they were STILL on the couch. Fuming I went into my room with my laptop. TGF called around 9 saying she was done and coming over. YAY! I went into the other room and said something to the kid which just caused me to lose it and I told her (in a nice way) why I was pissed and would she PLEASE take care of the fucking clothes. I told her I felt unappreciated after doing all this stuff. She got it. She left for work at 8 this morning but promises to take care of it when she gets home.

TGF and I watched some TV when she got there to help her unwind from the competition and then we headed to bed. I have been up about an hour now and she is still asleep. I really do feel better. I am going to work today and she is heading home early to do homework.