Y4 D220

Yesterday for me was an extremely productive day. For the kid, not so much. She didn't move off the couch except to puke and poop. And she did a lot of both. She called in sick to work too which is the first time she has eve done that. I kept her loaded up with Disney movies, lemon chicken soup, dayquil, ginger ale, and theraflu. She feels better this morning.

While she was being a sicky head, I hung shelves, cleaned house, and then did the big one - my room. I tore up my closet, rearranged furniture, got rid of that giant steamer trunk, and put a small table in there so now I can use my laptop in my room. One more step at separating work life from private life. Plus my room looks much less crowded now. I also went through stuff in my nightstand and filled yet another garbage bag. All in all, in the last week I have thrown out now 8 garbage bags of stuff from this house.

The past shall not own me. Clean and clear for 2013. This is the last Sunday of 2012. Amazing I made it through. Not everyone I know did though. I found out yesterday someone I know on tumblr killed themselves on 12/24. On the surface she seemed like another one of those drama queens saying how much they want to die but you could tell that below the surface it was real. She ended her life with a bottle of pills while all alone. Her family found her late Christmas Eve. That is such a shame. She was very young and truly did have her whole life in front of her. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have an outlet. If I were her parents right now I would be wondering everything I had done wrong. Because someone her age doesn't kill themselves when they have people who listen. She had no one to listen. No one of authority. Sometimes people need that. Especially young people. They need to be told what to do. This poor girl made some bad choices and no one stopped her. It's a shame.

And yet I live on. Am I stronger? Smarter? Who knows. But that's also why I didn't mind spending the day taking care of my kid. Mine is still here and I treasure that.