Told you I was going to go heads down yesterday and make up my work slackage. I worked until almost 8pm last night with just a couple of small interruptions. One of them to get the kid food at the store. Otherwise, I knocked out my stuff, got back on track, and today can breathe a little easier. As of this second, I am now in waiting mode with only a few things to do this morning. Totally worth the stress of last night. Which means, not much to mention this morning. At least not as far as things going on. What I will mention is a thought I had last night around 9 or 10. I was very tired from working and frustrated with everything. The thought popped into my head like jello in a cup...
Some people are adrenaline junkies - you know people who don't feel alive unless they are jumping out of a plane or climbing a rock face. They need that possibility of death to make them feel more alive. I have determined I am an irresponsibility junkie. I truly feel alive when I am doing things I am not supposed to be doing. Begging off work, wearing the 'wrong' clothes, piercings, tattoos, all those things that I am not supposed to do make me feel alive. Stupid, huh? But I won't lie. It's true. I feel the happiest when I am doing something society deems morally or socially wrong. Not illegal mind you. Just the 'oh you can't do that' kind of thing. Maybe this is something to discuss in therapy tonight. Try to figure out where it comes from in my head.
That's it boys and girls. Nothing else going on today. We now return you to your regularly scheduled stupidity...
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