Y4 D97

Sometimes the universe works in weird ways. Lately a number of people have been telling me 'act your age', 'give in', or 'there's nothing worth searching for'. And I was starting to believe them. I stayed home Monday night because 'people my age don't go out on Monday nights'. I was believing THEIR hype. It got so bad I was truly ready to throw in the towel and just go find some fat old chick to be with so I didn't have to feel like I was doing something that offended the rest of you.

Well guess what? Fuck. That. Noise. Oh great universe, you have shown me once more to hold on to hope. Or as the great prophets of Journey once said DON'T STOP BELIEVING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING!

Out of nowhere yesterday I get a text from... wait for it... no not her... nope, her neither... nuh-uh, not that one... LO. Yeah, weird right? I mean of all the people. The one who in June of 2010 showed me that I DIDN'T need to settle. The one who woke me up from life of boredom and ennui. Out of nowhere she sends me a message saying how she misses me, sorry she hasn't written as much as she should, and that the necklace I gave her is still her favorite piece of jewelry. I SO needed that. I needed to be reminded that I am better than I give myself credit. I am better than people want me to think. Why do people put other people down? To make themselves feel better. Why do people try to put other people in boxes? To justify their existence and meaning. Keep your fucking boxes to yourself.

You want to stop looking for meaning? Fine good ahead. I will keep looking. I will find it or die trying. I would rather do that than become another zombie slave. Keep your meds, keep your television, keep your societal standards. You know what I am doing today? Getting a new fucking tattoo. Oh I'm sorry, are people 'my age' not supposed to do that? Well fuck you. I am doing it. And we're not talking midlife crisis idiotic stupid little tattoo. No, we are talking half a fucking forearm. You know what? I am NEVER going to be too old for Disneyland, tattoos, piercings, fucking, drinking, drugs, or anything else that BRINGS ME PLEASURE.

May I never be complete
May I never be content
May I never be perfect.