If I were gone, would anyone miss me? I posed that question the other day on my tumblr feed. You know how many responses I got? One. From X2's sister. One. One lousy response. So I guess that answers my question? I mean really who would miss me? I mean ME not the me who:
- pays the rent
- pays the bills
- puts food in the fridge
- feeds the zoo
- drives the van
- moves props around
- drives people places
I mean the real me. If I stopped doing all of the above, then the person who is left, would he be missed? I have never in my life had someone so excited and happy to see me that they have run from across a room and throw their arms around me. I have never had anyone give me a kiss that feels like it was the last kiss in the universe. No one has ever said they couldn't live without me. No one has ever loved me like that.
And odds are, no one ever will.
Yes, I want a fairy tale sometimes. I want the relationship where we can watch the sunset sitting on the beach holding hands not saying a fucking word. Yes. I want it all. Well, at least I think I did. I don't know what I want any more because all I see is a ticking clock. Every day more of me fades away. More of disappears into some hole never to come back. And no one will miss me.
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