Y3 D321

Before I get into yesterday:


This is an open letter to everyone, male or female, friend, family, or lover, who has gone from my life. I just want you to know that it doesn’t matter if it’s been weeks, months, or years - I still think about you. Probably more than I should. My first thought is ‘are they happy?’. Because I do care if you are happy. I know I can sometimes be a thoughtless cruel ass on the surface, but underneath I really do care. I care if the choices you have made have brought you happiness. Then I think about ‘why did they leave? did I do something wrong? what could I have done differently?’. Maybe your life is better without me in it. Maybe. I know mine for the most part isn’t. If it was, I probably wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about you. I think about our time together. The good times, laughing, sharing secrets; the bad times, the tears, the anger. I think and think until my head hurts. And this is why I will never be right. And this is why everyone goes away. 


Now back to yesterday. That's where my head was at most of the day. I worked on shit for a client, drove the kid to the train, kept working, played Deus Ex, picked up the kid, went to bed. Tada. Here we are at two weeks since the breakup, I am functional and alive, still thinking too much about her, still missing her, but moving on mostly.


I am not happy about today. Traveling. Off to Ohio in 25 minutes.