Yeah not so good last night. Went to bed around 10:30 and tossed and turned, woke up around 2, couldn't fall back to sleep until 3, then slept through my alarms until 7. Not a good night. All day yesterday I had this malaise over me. It's still there mostly. Just this general sadness. I think the loneliness is really starting to kick in. It's been a month since we have seen or talked to each other and it's starting to hit. I am right back where I was 9 months ago in terms of trying to meet someone and it sucks. Yes, I do need to meet someone. You can sit here and say 'well maybe you need to be alone' blah blah blah. If the last 8 months taught me anything it's that I am happier when I am part of a couple. There is no question about this. I need the connection. Not just the physical but the emotional as well. I am not as functional when I am alone. I get all wrapped up in my head. This sucks.
Worked all day during the day. The kid went out around 10 to the museum with her grandmother. Came home around 2. She enjoyed herself. I worked. We met a friend downtown for dinner last night. She had been out of town to see the final show of a band her friend is in. We got to hear her adventures and I think in some ways it just made both me and the kid more frustrated and jealous. Dinner was fun and it felt good to get out of the house, but the sadness is and was lingering throughout.
Today is more of the same. I don't get the whole house to myself any more on wednesdays as the kid only has night classes until the end of the semester, but whatever. It's not like I am doing anything anyway...
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