Y4 D51

I am really fucking fuzzy this morning. I don't think I did anything bad or let my mouth get too out of control but I also have this fear I really fucked up for some reason. I also woke up this morning to find a strange charge for $100 on my bank account to something in MD. I have been traveling yes, but not to fucking Maryland. I just got off the phone with the bank and we put a claim against it. I am sitting tearing my brain apart trying to figure out what the hell that charge could be but am coming up with nothing.

I got home yesterday morning around 9:30 and proceeded to just bum around the house. D and I chatted a bit via text messages, but nothing major or any issues. I took a nap. I watched X-Files. Then I went out. There's where the problem started...

I think it's time to purge. Time to sober up for a while. I have spent way too many days drunk recently and it's getting me into trouble. There was a cast event last night at a pub near my director's house which turned into a party at their house. I don't remember most of it. Fuck.

I do remember leaving at a little before midnight because right at midnight I texted XTGF happy birthday. She hasn't responded. I also sent her an email because she may have changed her phone number since we broke up.

Fuck I am feeling like a loser and a fuckup this morning. I don't know why. I just am. I know, QYFW. But there's something stuck in my head right now and it won't let go. Maybe it's a hangover. Maybe it's regret. Maybe it's Utah. I don't know. I need ibuprofen. I need peace. 

Time to take a break. No drinking. No being stupid. Go off to TN in the morning tomorrow and be a good boy for a week. Sit in a hotel room at night and play Diablo. 

I wish I could remember more about last night. I am worried.