Y4 D57

I am lucky to be alive this morning. Last night was almost the end. For once I am not exaggerating or being over dramatic either. I really am lucky to have made it home in one piece with all my belongings. I could have been mugged, killed, etc and I wouldn't have known it. Because I was passed out on the street like a homeless bum. Behind a bank. In my own puke. I was the dark side last night 100%. It was bad. Really fucking bad. Sometimes the dark side wins boys and girls. Let's talk about the whole day...

I was up at 1:30am PDT (to make this easy, all times are in PDT as reference) to get ready to go to the airport. I left the hotel around 2 and headed to the airport. I needed gas first. $10 worth which wasn't bad for a week of being on the road for a week. The car I had got pretty decent gas mileage. I got to the car rental return about 2:30 and was at the terminal about 3. My flight boarded at 3:30 so I was right on schedule. Got to DFW about 6. I had over 2.5 hours until my next flight and decided to go get an Admirals Club day pass. I learned they have a 30 pass for only $99 instead of $50 for a single day. Since I have at least two more trips in the next 30 days I went for it. Now I can chill in there when I leave for MN on the 28th. Got to my gate and had a delay. Something about broken brake lights on the plane. Why the hell does a plane need brake lights? Who is it warning at 36,000 feet? We ended up being a 1/2 hour late out of the gate but in the end we landed 4 minutes ahead of schedule. Not bad. Made up the time. I did hate my seat though. I am 2018 miles away from getting my upgraded status back on American. I will get this the next time I walk onto a plane thank god. Because on this flight? I was sandwiched in the middle seat. Luckily I had two normal size people on either side of me. I watched Ted which wasn't bad. A little dumb for my taste, but a watchable movie none the less. It made me giggle and in a couple of places laugh out loud. Slept for less than an hour as well.

Got on the ground around noon and my friend picked me up because the kid is scared to drive to the airport. It was around 1 when I got home and the first thing I walk into is like 100 flies trying to attack me. Motherfucker. The flies are back. Why? Because my house is fucking disgusting. Because it's gross in here. Because we have too many fucking animals and it is just down right disgusting. There is no other way to describe it.  What I SHOULD have done last night was bleach the fuck out of this place. Instead what I did was head to happy hour at 3:30. Bad decision number one.

My friend met me there around 5 and we started drinking together. Since the kid had work from 6-10 I had her drop me off at the bar and I had my friend meet me to give me a ride home. That was the plan in my head at least. We left bar one at about 6 and I made bad decision number 2. Let's go to the next bar.

There at the bar was a woman. There's always a fucking woman isn't there? I ended up telling my friend to go home. Proceeded to get shit face plastered with this woman. Walked her to her house about a mile away and realized I was downtown with no car, no public transportation available, no ride, and drunker than fuck so I couldn't walk. Hi, I'll be your idiot tonight. The specials are stupidity, moronic behavior, complete disregard for safety, and acting like a child.

I sat down behind a bank because I wanted to be out of the sight of any police that might drive by. I didn't want to go to jail. Death was okay for me at that point, not jail. Funny how the drunken mind works. I then made the mistake of texting someone. But on the other hand, had I not texted her and made her worried as shit, I probably would have stayed in that parking lot all night. I did pass out at one point around 10 I think. I freaked everyone out at that point because I went radio silent. Unfortunately my phone had died by then too. So now everyone is worried and I have been rambling on in texts about how much I care about this person and now I go silent. The one friend who I have rambling on to apparently comes over frantic telling the kid to find me. They in turn call another friend who is not even in town this weekend. What am I doing?

Let me paint the picture for you...

Passed out, in the dirt, in a pile of my own vomit, behind a power box, behind a bank, on the streets of downtown.

FOR THE WIN! Yeah, no....

I woke up about 2 hours later still in one piece with my wallet and hat thank god. Shit... where's my jewelry.... fuck....

okay jewelry found. crisis averted. so anyway, I still had all my shit and I decided to turn on my phone. I had ZERO battery left but I had enough that I got one phone call. WHERE ARE YOU? I am here. STAY THERE, [the kid] IS ON HER WAY YOU STUPID FUCK.

I did. She did. I made it home around midnight. Puked all down the side of the car on the way home. Haven't talked to anyone today but sent out three apology emails.

These are the moments when I feel the world would be better off without me...