Y5 D21

Well my life is shit. Plain and simple. That 'noise' the car made? Transmission. One of the gears is eaten up inside. It's fucking toast. Repair cost? $4000. As of right now I have no car. And I am supposed to leave in 15 hours for southern california. Fuck me.

Here's how the day went down. Did some work in the early morning. Went to go out about 10 and run some errands for the week. Got in the car, put it in gear and KACHUNK. That would be the sound of the tranny slamming into gear. Fuck fuck fuck. I carefully drove it to the shop by my house and left it with them. I was hoping it might be as simple as a service or fluid or something. I then walked home, got the bike and went out to do as many of the errands as I could. Which basically was none of them. Every time I thought I could get something done I realized I had no way to carry it.

Got back to the shop around 2 as he was finishing. That's when I learned it was the transmission and it would be $4000 to fix it.

I then started debating if I should just take it to the dealer and trade it in. FUCK. I was doing so well. I was on the path. I was heading towards a solid goal. If I trade it in, they are going to have to roll a shit ton of money into a new car. I am about $4000 upside down still and NOW with a bad tranny they are going to give me less. But I really don't know what the fuck else to do. I don't have $4000. This isn't like it's $750 or $1000. I could figure that out. But no, this is beyond that.

I have no car. I have no money. I have no life.

It took all of my willpower to not walk into traffic last night when I WALKED to the mexican place to get a burrito for dinner.

I then spent an hour crying. Didn't know what else to do.

I am leaving around 11pm tonight for SoCal. I am taking the bike. If I am lucky I will die.