Y3 D72

Not sure where to begin. Much of yesterday is a blur and I am a bit hungover. Okay, more than a bit. A lot hungover.

In the morning I left with the kid to help her navigate the lousy public transportation system and get to her college campus. We had a nice little time together waiting for the train and then the train ride itself. I made it into work about an hour later than usual which brought me in around the same time as everyone else. I felt like I was 'late' but truth was I was only late in my head. Yesterday was one of our First Fridays which meant at 3pm everything shut down and the booze started flowing. There was issue number one. I started drinking at 3 in the afternoon. This month we went to a local lounge instead of staying in the office which was a bad thing. Top shelf booze with no worries about tab or driving? Yeah, not a good mix.

I know I joke about it, but I do worry sometimes that I am an alcoholic. I mean I can go days, weeks even without a drink, but it's the impulse control that worries me. Because once I start drinking I don't seem to be able to stop until I pass out.

I had four or five at the lounge and then headed to the train station. The kid had to work and I was going to see a movie last night with cast so I decided to just take the train all the way down. Again, no car, no worries, no responsibility. Bad.

At 11:30 last night we were supposed to go to a theater where one of our friends works and they shut it down for just us to watch Clash of the Titans. I will get to that in a minute. But note the times -- 11:30 movie start. Train at 5. Drinking at 3. Yep.

TGF met me at the train station and we had about an hour together before she had to leave for a family thing. I never stopped drinking. She left around 6:30 and my other friends started showing up. For the next five hours I got sloppier and sloppier. We made it to the theater and the movie started around midnight. Next thing I know it's 1:30. I passed out hard. But what little of the movie I did see was fun. There were about 15 of us in the theater which was really cool. Had I been less drunk and actually able to see, I would have enjoyed it more.

I don't think I did anything really bad last night except for talk about TGF more than I should have in front of certain people. But honestly, I don't care. I really want people to accept that I am happy and while it might make them feel uncomfortable, they need to see I am happy with her. I didn't bring her last night out of respect for these people but at the same time? That really sucked for me.

Got home around 2:30 or so and passed right out. Today I am alone so far. Kid had to work at 9, TGF has more family stuff today. Show tonight. Let's see how things go...