Y3 D88

My days and nights right now are really good. There. I said it. I am fucking happy and am back on the upward curve of the cycle. Told you life is cyclical. Had a good day rearranging furniture because it's what I do. TGF came over around 1. She isn't feeling well right now and we went for tea. We had a great afternoon tea service and the tea helped her. She was really cute sick. Very floopy and goofy. After tea we ran a couple of errands and then came home to rest.

I realized something yesterday when we got back. Remember LO? I was very much in heat for that girl. With her I was seeing the reflection of X2 AS I LEFT HER when she walked out on me. LO was a carbon copy - shallow, beautiful, self-centered - all the qualities that work for me in some respects. I was looking at TGF yesterday and saw X2 again BUT AS I FOUND HER. Raw, excited about things, playful, cute, happy...

Will I destroy another angel? Will I break another soul? Or maybe can I do things right this time and just leave a mark without breaking it completely? We shall see...

After napping she was in a playful silly mood and we stayed in bed for another hour just being goofy. It was so refreshing.

While we were laying there I got an email/phone call. The contracts for me going back to my old company. Score. We are meeting tomorrow night to finalize everything.

Got up and made tacos for her and the kid. Then TGF took off and we headed off to the show. Had a great show. My director's were already drunk because they had gone off to a high school reunion earlier in the night. The mood was light and fun. The booze was flowing, the laughs were there, the audience was in good spirits. AND TGF was in the audience and I was being good. That of course was the hard part. But then again, once the show starts, no one pays attention to tech. We become invisible which is just how I like it. After show, got everything loaded and done. Was home around 3 and went straight to bed - alone. Also good move.

I really am learning how to be moderate in my behavior. I still drink too much once I start drinking, but in other areas I am learning. I am being as normal as someone like me can ever be.