Been up a while but it's payday hence it's bill day. Took care of business first and foremost because that's what I do. It is going to be so much easier without B. I know that sounds so mean, but it's true. Thousands per month will be saved. I can actually start putting more money away. I am not going to end up in a spiral like I did last time. I will spend more nights at home. Some of them will be alone, but that's okay. Take tonight for example. I have had a busy fucking week and I plan on making tonight a self care night. Nice bath, order in some dinner, catch up on TV, go to bed at a decent time. I know, crazy right? I might go pick up the ceiling fans I want later, but that's about it. I have a busy weekend especially since it's a holiday, so I need to refresh my strength tonight. But in the future I will find a schedule that works for me. Given my current calendar, Tuesdays and probably Thursdays will be guaranteed nights out for me. Both involve social activities of a nature. One group, one partner stuff. Such as last night.
I did have a good time last night. Got me in some physical touch with the gf. Much needed time together. Sex is getting weirder and weirder thanks to the hormones, but it is what it is. It was just nice to get some physical touch. We were together for about 2.5 hours. A reasonable amount of time. I got home at about 10:30. B wasn't home and I didn't expect them until much later, but I was surprised when they came in around 11pm. They of course didn't go to bed until 2:30. I have come to realize they are now calling CGF every night but they have to wait until around midnight because of time changes. But it will be interesting to see if this curtails other activities so they can make sure they are home to call CGF.
Something validating did happen last night. B sent me a screenshot of a conversation between them and a mutual friend. Said friend has been lamenting to me how they feel B has pulled away, is not present, it's the same one we went roller skating with and he expressed these feelings. Well, he tried to call B last night and they didn't answer. He messaged and was like hey I need to talk, feeling down. B snapped at him. Why? Because they were too busy with their blue haired smurf to be bothered. B asked me later about it and I was like, I have no opinion. Staying out of this one kids. I called the friend on my way home from gfs and him and I talked for about 30 minutes. Basically I explained to him that this is how the last two months of my life has been. Say or do something innocent and get jumped on. Try and interrupt their playtime and get yelled at. It was nice to see someone else experiencing the same shit. This is the second of B's friends who has said to me that they see the friendship being destroyed. One of them doesn't see it recovering. This would be the one I went to NC with in July.
Speaking of NC, I have been chatting with a new girl. We were talking about last places traveled and they also recently went to NC. Just a random coincidence. This girl lives a bit away from me, but it wouldn't be a bad booty call to keep on speed dial. They will be in this area on the 15th and we're going out then. If we hit it off, so be it. If not, new friend. On that front, I had lunch with a new friend yesterday. Someone I think I can hang out with on occasion. We had simple lunch and nice talk. They're closer to my age and it was nice talking with another adult. Too many children around me lately.
Therapy soon, then a meeting, then nothing. May go pick up ceiling fans tonight to have them ready for the weekend project. I am replacing the light fixtures in all three rooms to make me feel more "my house". B is getting boxes tonight which will start freeing up the office for me to move in. Get the guest room cleared out and move them in to the basement. Bye bye baby.
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