ANA Y1 D185

Slept much better last night. We changed the sheets and switched back to our "normal" bed sides. Too many years on one side. Can't change now I guess. Plus I got new nose things we helped immensely. Still too fucking dry in this house though. I need a larger scale humidifier. Done. Will have a new humidifier under the tree. I had a small one before because B hated the moisture. C is like me and needs it. So guess what? Humidifier big enough for the room for 45 hours. Fuck it. Merry fucking Xmas.

We had a good day. We watched TV, I read my book, we had tacos for dinner. We had ice cream afterwards. It was a nice Sunday. We played video games. We had sex. I can't ask for much more than that, can I? It's a pretty straight forward existence, but it's mine. At one point yesterday I was doing something and I realized that even if C wasn't there, I was okay. I still need to remind myself of that. I am not happy because of C, I am happy and that lets me be a better partner for C. There's a fine distinction, but it's important. I need to know I am okay regardless. This week is going to be a test of that. She leaves today for the week. Won't be back until Sunday at the earliest, but most likely Monday. I need to make sure I ear, I clean, I do work. I need to thrive and not just stay alive. B once more was being a pain even from 3800 miles away. She tried asking if A could stay for a week if she couldn't find a place. Um sure I guess. I think A will have the bigger issue, not me? But I did hold my ground when they asked if the dog could also come. Nope. I am having enough issues with the animals here. I don't need some big old dog in this house too. Nope nope nope. I want animals out not more. So I stood fast and made it clear that wasn't acceptable. They were okay on the surface with that answer but I am sure it will come back to bite me.

I had a dream last night C and I were looking at a house. It was a bungalow style with 1950s appliances all still built in. It was cute and small and much more my personality. Read into that what you will. I also had a dream with Roseanne and Jackie in it and they were trying to get off the grid so yeah, there's that too.

Today and the rest of the week is docs and docs and more docs. This will be a tough week work wise trying to hold my focus and get stuff done. In some ways I am glad C will be gone. Will make it easier to work.