Had an actual good conversation with AT&T yesterday. See, I still have my old AT&T account with my old phone number alive even though I am now on Verizon with a Droid. I say "now" but in reality it has been since last November. I left the old phone on because the early term fee was more than paying a $20 a month bill for like 10 months. I have been waiting for the two to equal out. When I made this decision, I told them that I wanted the CHEAPEST plan possible and I put my SIM card back into an old phone so as not to have to deal with data plans or any of that crap. Well for whatever reason every other month, their system decides I need a data plan and it automatically puts one on there. EVEN THOUGH my phone in their system shows as 'unknown'. I spent a 1/2 hour on the phone with them today and got them to fix it once more. I now have it back to $20. My early term is still $90, so if I let it go for three more months I should be right where I want to be. Right? Let's see - $20 x 3 = ($60.00) versus $90 in September, $80 in October, $70 in November… Yep. If I cancel in December, it will be break even. The woman on the phone understood my logic and helped me out. She reduced the bill from August down where it should be, and adjusted me going forward. Hence, a polite nice person at AT&T who helped me out. Miracle.
In other news? My brother is back in the hospital. Found out through a fucking text message from him. Couldn't even get a phone call from his wife. He doesn't want me up there to visit him either. More isolation created. This one isn't my fault though. He doesn't want the headaches and drama I am assuming. And no, I don't know how I would get up there. If he had said he wanted me there, I would have fucking walked. But he told me no. One more person to tell me no…
Sat at work bored all morning. The data guy didn't finish his work. I had to ensure the client that I wouldn't mark the time as billable as long as they communicated with my bosses that this was not my issue. I think because of my candor and flexibility I was able to establish a good professional stance with the client that will result in more business long term. Inside I was pissed at getting up at 4am and driving 75 miles when I don't have the fucking money to put gas in my car. But I can't blame the client. I did chide my co-worker for not telling me the night before and saving me a drive. The other upside is the client feels bad about me sitting here and tried to find things for me to do. I was able to help one of her co-workers in another office with a problem they are having which made me feel pretty good. I have another session of training scheduled with him today from 10-12 which will give me some billable hours. And the best part is I can do it remotely. I then had a 3 hour conference call from 8 pm until 11pm with a different client thanks to time zone changes.
I also got a talking to by a friend yesterday. She called me out on my "relationship" with H1 and my continuance of destructive behavior. I know. I try. But I do feel broken inside. Some people need other people, some are ok by themselves. I find myself trapped somewhere in between. I need the acceptance of people but don't want anyone around because I don't want them seeing behind the curtain.
Despite popular opinion, I try to not use people any more. I don't want the few people I have as friends thinking I am playing them. If you are in my life these days and I actually talk to you about real shit, then know that I am sincere when I say I appreciate your friendship. I may not always show it in the best of ways, but deep down, I appreciate and need it.
I did get advice from another friend, that I didn't think about before. He explained a financial option that I hadn't considered. I need to figure some things out before I execute on that one, but it was a good piece of advice.
AND just to show that I am not a complete and utter moron, I started looking up state sponsored financial help. They call them Approved Debtor Education Agencies, and there is a list a mile long. It's going to take some time, but I am going to go through them all and see if I can find one to help put me on a better path. Also, and probably more importantly, I looked up mental health providers. I am going to call today to see about setting an appointment with a new psychiatrist. I don't know how many appointments my insurance will allow me, but even one is better than nothing. See? Not a complete ass...
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