HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yesterday morning I said, gee I hope Thursday is less exciting than Wednesday. I might as well have said "hey universe, be nice". Okay, I have to get the timeline right here and not miss anything...
I got up, did my morning shit, did a little work, and then around 9 I heard B stirring upstairs. Their mood had not yet improved. So I laid there in bed with them once again being supportive and kept my mouth shut about everything. Guess what happened? Yep. We had sex. Again, it was anger/frustration sex, but not going to say no. Especially since my plans for tonight were changed. B ended up falling back to sleep and I did some more work.
Around 1pm, they were debating if they should even go back to the campsite. Part of the issue is they have been completely bored this whole week regardless. Couple reasons for that - first, they only went with one friend this year. Normally it's four or five of them that go and it gives more people to do things with, hang out and talk to, etc. Second, the person they did go with is a big old lump. All he has done is get high, take naps, and play on his switch. Lastly, the campsite they chose really doesn't have much to offer. Previous campsites had nice trails, lake activities, etc. This one doesn't have much in the way of stuff other than a lake which isn't for swimming. Just kayaking, floats, etc. Can't just walk the shore and putz around in the water. Hence, boredom. This is what I saw on monday when I thought it was me. B made the decision to go back to the campground with me and pack shit up. Their friend could have it through today, but they were done.
We got there around 1, packed up, back home by 3. Unloaded everything and then exhausted, collapsed on the bed for a few. B thanked me for the morning and said it had helped get rid of some anger and frustration. I replied with "any time". To which they said "now?". Wait, what? Again? Okie dokie! So yeah, we did it again. Now I noticed something this time which I had only sort of noticed in the morning. First off, we were having sex twice in one day. Both times NOT IN THE DARK. But the important part was they were giving me feedback and direction. Something I have wanted forever. I need to know things are working or not. I need to know which direction to move. To that I will say, look whatever B and CGF have been getting up to? It fucking is helping. It's making them more confident and secure about their body. If this is what being a supportive caring partner gets me, then hot diggity.
They fell back to sleep. I watched two episodes of Obi-Wan. Not sure if I like it, but it's short enough I will watch the whole thing. Ate leftovers, cleaned the fridge, went to bed around 11. B woke up around 9. I think they were up until about 1am. All good.
Tonight I do have friends coming over for game night. B has been kind enough to say that if they aren't up to socializing they will go downstairs and watch TV. Thank you. They may still have plans. I think they're trying to arrange a date since their original plans were with CGF. I know they talked during the day yesterday, but I don't think anything changed. Don't know and frankly don't care. Look, I am coming out the other side of this. My trauma is subsiding, my anxiety is dissipating. I know they're not leaving me, cheating on me, or abandoning me. They do still need to learn how to balance things better and show me more that I am priority, but I think we will get there. If it really is over with CGF, that's not a bad thing. This was a true infatuation and maybe with the next one they will do better at compartmentalizing their feelings.
We shall see.
Side note - it was my sister's 21st anniversary yesterday. Proof this shit can work. I hope to be like them in that respect some day.
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