ANA Y1 D42

I finally fucking slept! Took many days and a lot of letting go, but finally I got a solid 7 hours of sleep. Miracles. I didn't sleep the night before hence my lovely one word post from yesterday. Why was I able to sleep last night for the first time since we got here? Because it was the first night my spouse wasn't spending the night fucking their girlfriend. Seriously. Sunday night. Tuesday night. Wednesday night. I am sure they will be back over there tonight because it's been a whole day since they got their rocks off, but at least I had one night of a break. Joy. 

Wednesday was actually a fun day. Went to an amusement park which I hadn't done in probably a decade plus. It was 93 with a 108 heat index so we were melting most of the day. But we still had a great time. Rode 5 out of the 10 or so "big" coasters, ate all day, walked 15,000 steps per my companion's Fitbit. 

Yesterday we went to a bird sanctuary and gardens followed by the NASCAR Hall of Fame. Then we had an incredible birthday dinner.

Oh yeah, it was my birthday yesterday but apparently most of you all forgot. That was also contributing to my shit mood. The first birthday greeting I got was from B. Yay you think? No. Because they sent it at 12:01am FROM CGF'S HOUSE. Talked about mixed messages. "I love you, but hold on let me get my tongue out of this vagina first". That's how it felt to me. They didn't get home from there until 2. How is that supposed to make me feel? Does that mean I am the priority? "Hold on a sec, let me text my spouse then you can continue fucking me". These are the things I am struggling with right now. I don't know how to separate my feelings like that. On top of that, other than B, the kid, and my sister only two friends remembered it was my birthday. One sent me a message at 2am, the other at like 4pm. Otherwise, dead air. All day. Stings a bit that I don't have enough friends who remember or care. 

Today we are going to a beirgarten at North Carolina's oldest brewery. Couple more days here then I go home. To be honest, other than the shit sleep, this is one of the better vacations I've had.