Welcome to what promises to be an interesting week. Not necessarily in a bad way, just the potential for a lot of interesting things happening. There are plans for both me and B multiple nights this week. One night we're going out at 10pm to do something, I have a date, B may have a date, etc. But for now, let's focus on yesterday.
Yesterday was quite good if we're being honest. The majority of my day was spent down in the basement putting all the pops back as well as everything else we had to pull from the laundry room. I also had to clean and reorganize everything down there. It was a lot of work and took a huge portion of my day, but it's done and everything looks great now. I am happy with that. But the real reason yesterday was good AND the reason I was able to have yet another day of good sleep, is that B and I made a huge breakthrough yesterday. Now that things are done with CGF, they're finally starting to talk to me about some stuff. For example, they finally admitted yesterday that it wasn't CGF that was so exciting, it was what she represented. That everyone needs to feel wanted, desired, etc. I absolutely get that. I do. Remember when I was in AZ and had my fling with the hot girl? It wasn't so much about her as it was that she made me feel desirable. She made me feel good about myself. I didn't have to think about the bills, or the cat, or work. It was about the moment and nothing more. THAT is how CGF was making B feel. The infatuation of something new. It's a matter though of not letting that take over the rest of your life. The bills, the pets, the water heater - they're all still there. You can't dump that on your spouse to handle alone. B is finally coming out of the infatuation fog and seeing that's what they've been doing. We also discussed this is the hardest part of any long term relationship or marriage. At some point, it is all about that other stuff. The trick is to find that balance. For us, and millions of other people, having an external partner is one way of handling it. That's okay. It's not a sin, a crime, or an offense to our marriage. As long as the balance and priority is kept. Now that B has gone through this and come out the other side, I think we can do it. BUT it's my turn now isn't it? This week MCGF and I have a date. Will it result in sex? Maybe. Probably not Wednesday night, but maybe. It will be my turn to remember to balance and keep things in perspective. I am absolutely enjoying the attention and being made to feel desirable. As is MCGF I am sure. With their spouse, it's about work and kids and everything else. I provide an escape. Someone who shares the silly and sexy moments. I get it. I finally fucking get it.
B and CGF had a talk yesterday too. The discussed how they need a break from each other. B is the kind of person who can be friends with an ex. I am not. Saturday I think was CGF's attempt at it, but they shared with B yesterday that it was harder than they expected. So a week off was decided upon. Just to give it some healing time. Personally I feel this is a good thing for them. I support whatever they choose, but for me, I know I would need a hot minute away.
The other big conversation we had along these same lines was about sex. Not just a surface one either. We had a conversation that was 8 years in the making. We started talking about likes and dislikes. Why lesbian sex takes four hours. Some of the things they learned and experienced during their time with CGF. Side note on that, I thought CGF was experienced. Turns out they were not. Basically it was the two of them floundering around together figuring out the female body. This I also find amusing. Here I thought B was with some superstar sex partner, but nope. Just another new lesbian in the world. Though the experience was good for them. B has found things they like that I never knew. The same for B. I opened up about some of the things I like. We both got over our embarrassment and heteronormative stigmas and talked. We then later in the evening put some of that into practice. For the first time ever in our sex life, toys were pulled out of drawers. We went at it for almost 2 hours. A break in between as well. It wasn't about penetration either. It was about exploration and intimacy. As I have said before if THIS is the side benefit of all our life changes? Bring it the fuck on. We have been more intimate in the last two months than in the last five years. Plus it's been GOOD for both of us not just functional.
Growth bitches.
Plus B is finally talking to me about just some of the trivial stuff between them and CGF. They have kept like some things to themselves because they didn't want to 'rub my face in it' were their words. I appreciate that but unlike B, I want to know. So I got to see CGF's cat for the first time. Here some of the stupid stuff they talked about. It added a NEW level of intimacy for us. I also talked about some of the stuff MCGF and I have been chatting about. I shared pictures of the garden work they've been doing. It was fucking awesome not having a portion of our lives separate. Will we mix partners ever? No, probably not. That part is still for us alone. But the trivial stuff is okay. Share. It's not going to kill us.
Okay, now for the week. Today B is hanging out with the friend from hell for the first time in months. Let's see how that goes. This is the one that broke them up. This is the one with the crush. R, the evil one. B is nervous they're going to say or do something that causes a floodgate of emotions. I am going to the mall just to get out of the house, but no real reason either. Just to have a little me time. Tuesday is group for me and B is hanging at their other friend's who they haven't seen since camping. They owe them some time and an apology. It's not just me who has been impacted by all this CGF drama. Time to repair some other broken friendships. I also teach Tuesday plus the meeting with Bentley. Busy day. Wednesday I have my date, B is going to hang out with our mutual friend, then we are heading to the club to support a friend in a talent show. That will be interesting to say the least. Thursday and Friday are light for now. But who knows what excitement lurks. Saturday is B's sister's birthday. There may be activities. Oh wait, Thursday we're going to a fair/carnival after work. Forgot about that. Jeez, we have a life again. Insane.
Here's a pic of how the pops look now:
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