The last 24 hours here were completely insane. Specifically from about 2pm on. B had a full and complete mental breakdown. Like so bad I was going to call the hospital and have them checked in. I still don't know what to do. I loaded them up with Xanax last night before bed as it was the only way I could make sure they slept so I could sleep. They were supposed to go to their therapist at 2pm, but when they got there, the therapist had cancelled last minute. B came home and decided to try and talk with me instead. They broke down. "I'm useless, broken, a burden, just let me die. This isn't the life I imagined. I don't love you. Let me die." That was the mantra for like an hour. At one point they went into complete psychosis and looked at me like they had never seen me before. I finally got them calmed down enough to get into bed. They fell asleep until 7 or so. When they got up the first comment was "I hoped I wouldn't wake up". Goddamn I wish they had never stopped their meds. I even offered them a divorce if they would promise me they would stay alive. They can have anything they want if they would make me that one promise. They wouldn't. I don't know what to do. I have my therapy in a little while and am going to get advice but I am afraid they will tell me to call a hospital. I can't do that to B. I can't make them go through that. I am scared to see how today plays out. Things were so bad yesterday I even reached out to CGF and told them what was going on and that maybe they should stop messaging for a while. The cunt told me they will do what they think is best. Who the fuck do they think they are? They've known B for two months. I've been here for 10 years you bitch. I will hunt this bitch down and destroy her if she fucks B up more. At this point, I do assume we will be divorced by the end of the year. Not because of me though. Because B needs to figure themselves out and I have to let them go.
Welcome to hell.
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