Not happy this morning. Trying to plan a trip for me and the kid but American keeps telling me I don't have enough points to cover my ticket. It shows that there are flights in my point range but then when I got to book it the system tells me there are no flights in that point range available. Pissing me off. I don't have the extra $500 to pay for both her and my flight. I can do one but not both. Fuck. I have the hotel covered with no problem but not the goddamn flight. I either need another 10,000 points to give me the option of different flights, which I can buy for $350 but at that point I might as well just buy the whole goddamn thing. I am getting pissed off. I don't want to let her down, but I might have to in this case. We may have to pick a different destination. Fuck. I need someone to either lend me $500 or gift me the points. This was going to be our big father-daughter trip too. Dammit. I feel like such a fucking loser.
Yesterday I wanted to just shoot someone. I had to go to X1's sister's 10 year old birthday party. He is not my blood relative but I have known the family for so long and technically he's the Kid's cousin and if I didn't bring her I wouldn't hear the end of it. She didn't want to be there either but we both knew we had to make an appearance or suffer the wrath.
Her grandmother was driving me crazy and I finally at one point had to be stern with her. She gets annoyed when I tell her the kid is 17 years old and doesn't need me to babysit her all day. Grandma wanted me to drive the kid to these different places and I told her she can get on a train while I am work. That didn't go over too well. I finally had to put my foot down and make it clear it wasn't her place to tell me how to raise or handle my child. I was just getting so pissed off. I was there because I am a nice guy not because of any obligation. She needs to remember that. I am not obligated to do a fucking thing. If I choose to not go to their house that's my prerogative. I am being nice. Try not to forget that you pain in the ass.
We were there for what seemed like an eternity. The Kid's friend was handling it better than me or the kid. We both just wanted out. We don't like some of these people. Plus since they are X1's family they of course see me as evil. I am the root of all that has ever gone wrong in her life even if they won't admit it. Or even worse they use me as the scapegoat because it's easier to blame me than it is their own child. Fuck them.
I am rambling a bit aren't I? I am just fucking pissed off this morning. I hate being the one who lets the kid down. I try my hardest to never do that. Dammit. I need to figure out what I can sell in the next 48 hours to come up with either $500 or 10,000 AA points. That or we need to pick a new destination. This is all that is going to be on my mind for the next day. I am supposed to go into a meeting this afternoon. Let's see if that happens or not.
Other than the birthday party, not much else happened yesterday. J called me out of the blue. I think she is missing me in some ways. She is dating an old ex-bf who has an ex-gf that is bugging the shit out of J. I don't know why she calls me - I am not going to tell her what she wants to hear in this case. This boy is 8 years younger than her, the ex-gf 10. How does she expect them to act? They are children compared to her. She needs to stop dating little boys and look for someone more mature. No, not me. I am the pot calling the kettle black, I know. But in this case, I can give the advice, even if I can't follow it.
Fuck what the fuck am I going to do about this fucking trip...
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