Y2 D46

I had two very bizarre dreams last night. One stayed with me, but the other I lost most of rapidly after waking up. But they both had the same theme and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to interpret them. The first one I was in a some type of prison colony with the kid. Everything was ok and I was complacent letting them screw with me. The minute they started fucking with the kid I went insane and started destroying the place and everyone around me. I had some collar on my neck and ripped it off with my bare hands because they were causing the kid pain. I broke us out of there to be free. The second dream which I only have snippets of left in my head was basically the same thing. I was trapped somehow and needed to get free. I was screaming for freedom. I wanted out more than anything in the world. Like I said, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure either one of those out. Gee, I wonder if I am feeling trapped and need to be free from things? Hm. What a wild guess...

Picked up the kid's friend yesterday. She is spending a week with us. She's a good kid too. On the way home we stopped at one of those big outlet malls to try and find Kid a purse. She is the weirdest teenage girl I have ever seen sometimes. She has never liked or wanted to carry a purse, but she keeps forgetting her wallet, her phone, her license, etc. I finally convinced her she needs to start carrying a purse or wearing clothes with pockets. She is picky like her old man though and we went to about 100 different stores trying to find something with no luck. Upside is we walked around outside for quite a while and got in some decent exercise. Always a bright side.

After that we came home and relaxed for a little while. 5 hours of driving will do that to a person. Later on we went over to the grocery store where I grabbed a bottle of absinthe. I was supposed to go to a tasting party from 10pm - 2am but just wasn't in the mood. Instead I bought a bottle for myself, the sugar cubes, and decided it was cheaper and better to stay home. Sometimes I do make smart choices even if on the surface they might not seem that way.

I also bought a bottle of Campari. Nothing like mixing dark and biter with wormwood to see how far it will push the mind.

For the girls I picked up a couple of movies. The Kid has a list of movies she needs to see and True Romance and The Craft are two of them. We also found a copy of Clockwork Orange on sale for $10. Grabbed that too.

Got them home, made them grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Then I plopped them down on the floor while I started the process of watching sugar cubes drop into a green liquid. Goddamn that stuff is one of the most disgusting tastes on the face of the earth. I love it. Add Campari to the mix with Vermouth and soda... whoo hoo, my brain is fried. Had about a quarter of the bottles last night. But was functional, was at home, and didn't spend 1/3 as much had I gone out and done it in public. Good choices.

Texted with LO again. I would like to see if we can go 24 hours without communique. For more reasons than just "what the hell is this". I need to see how I feel if I don't hear from her. Will I feel any different?

I do need to be free. I need to break all these barriers and do something. I don't know what yet though. I need to find the one thing that will trigger the release. Soon.