Y2 D59

I promised I would get into what happened Thursday more today. Here it is - I posted what I wrote here about god and religion on my FB page. This offended my brother's wife because to her I was being negative. I don't think I was being negative at all. We traded words over it and at some point she decided to de-friend me because of it. That took away the only source I had of information about my brother. This pisses me off.

I am pissed off too because no one seems to think I am worthy of even a phone call. The only reason I found out in the first place that my brother was in the hospital was because of a post on her page. I have never done anything to hurt her or their family. It would have been nice to have been thought of originally when he went into the hospital.

My brother's adopted dad is very well known at the hospital having been there for 40 years and at one point head of all orthopedics. Everyone at the hospital knows him and his "family". When I showed up Thursday afternoon to see him the nurse says to me "his family is already in there". I explained I was his brother. She looked at me as if I were a leper. She refused to believe I was his brother and forced me to sit out in the waiting room. After a half hour of sitting someone else came out to me and told me "his family" is still in there. Again I explained I was his brother, but since I wasn't one of the family members they knew, the refused to let me in until "his family" left. I keep putting that in quotes because that's the tone and words they used. Talk about insult and injury. This has all hurt me very much. I ended up leaving and going out with L and drinking.

Yesterday I found out thanks to a text from my brother that he had surgery. They replaced the unit in his chest with a new one. The only reason I found out was because of a text message. He seems to be doing ok, and when I called late last night, the nurses confirmed that everything is looking good. See, the funny thing is the night nurses are sweet to me because his other family all come during the day. They have only met me and don't have any prejudice towards me.

We drove up to my friend's cabin yesterday morning. Took us about three hours as there was no traffic. We spent the day walking around the old town, hanging out at the lake, then I cooked everyone dinner, we watched a couple of movies, and just had a relaxing time. I woke up this morning to the sounds of nature and what is looking like a gorgeous day. I didn't realize how bad I needed to get away until just a few minutes ago. I was out in the backyard and the sound of nothing was so relaxing and peaceful.

Today is going to be a repeat of yesterday. I need this. Bad.