I am in a bad headspace again today. I don't like this. It really drives me nuts. I don't know how to stop it either. I don't know what to do to make it better. Well I do, but I don't want to do that.
The weather was shit all day yesterday. Constant rain and gloom. Just like my mood. I tried to lighten it but I spent the day in the house which didn't help one iota. Kid took my car and worked from like 9-1 so I had no transportation and frankly I had nowhere to go anyway so it didn't really matter.
I cleaned the house. Sat around. Did a whole lot of nothing. I didn't hear from TGF until like 3 and we talked for a minute. She had been at dance, then lunch with her folks and needed to try and get homework done before she went off to a party. That's why my head was and is in a bad space. I need more contact than this. After a week of not seeing each other, this weekend is driving me up a wall.
At 5 we headed over to my friend's house to play D&D. There were 7 of us total and while it was fun, around 11 or so I started getting depressed. It really took away from me enjoying hanging out with my friends. I was just a ball of tense. The kid was drunk and loopy which was amusing but then she started to crash and since I drove everyone, we couldn't leave when we wanted which double frustrated me. I finally heard via text from TGF around midnight. We exchanged a few texts but I don't know where she slept last night. I assume she stayed at the house where the party was because she didn't want to drive. I mean it's what people do at my parties so it's no surprise. Let's see what time I hear from her today.
We got home around 1:30 and the kid crashed. I couldn't sleep. I finally fell asleep around 3 and got up a few minutes ago around 8.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I hate my brain.
No comments:
Post a Comment