Y3 D303

I had the weirdest revelation last night. I realized that the floor plan of my friend's house is EXACTLY the same as one I lived in when I was about 12. The houses are maybe a mile or so apart so it's not impossible that the same builder did them. The difference too is the one I lived in had been added onto with an additional bedroom and family room. Otherwise the two houes are exactly the same. I can't wait until I am over there again and point this out to them. It was just a really weird moment when that hit me.

Spent the day at a conference where I manned a demo station. It was for a user group meeting and there were about 100-125 folks in attendance. The day started at 6:30 and wrapped up around 3. I spoke to a number of people and had a good time of it. I also managed to convince my bosses to order me new business cards that finally say Rockstar on them. Oh yeah.

Got home around 3:30 and played with my new toy I also got them to pay for after some wheedling. I got an Apple TV 3rd generation. I can't believe the size difference over the first one. I also remembered why I had one in the first place. Seriously, I really need to kill Direct TV. I don't know why I can't pull the trigger. It's not like my life is going to be over. I know that one show I watch is over in 8 episodes. This means that the other couple of shows I watch will also be over roughly the same time. That's when I finally do it. No excuses no pain. Just unplug and rearrange everything. Canceling your TV for some reason is harder than you think. Maybe because my generation grew up in front of broadcast television and it's so ingrained in me. But it has to go. I am tired of it.

Watched some tv with the kid and ate leftover sandwiches that I brought home from the conference. Haven't seen TGF this week at all and might not see her this weekend for once. She has major papers and projects due next week for finals and has to stay in. All the running around we usually do on a weekend is catching up to her and she needs the time to finish her projects.

I do worry I am not good enough for her. It's not a bad thing though. By worrying I am not taking her for granted. I am constantly making sure our relationship is strong, healthy, and good instead of letting things fester or go unseen. I really do believe this. In past relationships I have been oblivious to things going on right under my nose because I assumed and took things for granted. We are coming up on almost a year together and I would really like to hit that milestone as arbitrary as it might be. Mostly because I would like to know I have the social and relationship skills to keep a partner for a year without fucking things up for once.

You notice how I have been a lot less 'fucked up' if you will lately? None of my usual screwing things up. I haven't been drinking as regularly as I did. I haven't done or said anything to get me into trouble at the same frequency as before. Only took me 20 years to grow up I guess?

I don't know. I am rambling now because thoughts are overflowing. While I understand why I may not see her this weekend, and it's perfectly normal and rational in a relationship to have times where you don't see each other, I am of course letting paranoia creep into my head. I am trying to block it and fight it which is where some of these words are coming from today.

Time to work on one client then take a relaxing afternoon.