ANA Y1 D15

Finally slept more than four hours. I got in 7 with only waking up once. That's a fucking miracle for me. Plus for the first time in a week, we didn't have an hour long discussion before bed. Just went to bed. Miracles continue. But let's back up shall we? Some new information was learned yesterday which, I don't want to say changes, but how about adds to the dynamic? Let's go with that.

Okay, so Thursday night was a clusterfuck, right? Right. Yelling, arguing, the first real fight about all this shit and the first real time I was considering this shit is over, get out. Went to bed mad, went to bed ready to burn the world.

Thank the gods for good therapists. Went to mine and got a whole lot of shit off my chest. Nothing was resolved or solved, but I did get a good catharsis from being able to just say everything on my mind. Side note - when I told my therapist who B is sleeping with on Tuesday they were like wtf? After all this and they go back to that?? Yep. The better part though was when I showed her a pic of B's crush and while they were trying to be professional, it was clear they also felt like what the heck is attractive about that. Oops. I get back home and I go over a few of things I discussed in therapy with B. The biggest being is I need them to double check themselves when they're doing shit and really really ask, I am prioritizing an external party over my partner or household's feeling. Because that's the crux of all this. Hopefully we made it past that hurdle. Maybe.

The real fun started last night though. All the way on the trip B was having a conversation with her friend. Not GF, but the friend who introduced them. We need a name to make this easier, so here's the players:

B - our main protagonist and future lesbian
R - the initial new friend, bisexual, stoner, lives in their own world
CGF - the crush, the soon to be girlfriend

Got it? Good.

Well, R is upset with B because she thinks B is moving too fast with CGF. Problem is, for B, their hookup on Tuesday is purely sexual. Like purely. There's no feels going on. This is like a doctor appointment where B is going to learn the ins and outs (all puns intended) of being with a female partner. It might go well, it might not. Who knows. Why you ask is R so upset? Here my gentle readers is the fun part. Turns out when B and R went camping a couple weeks back in May, R caught the feels for B. R came on to B, and was shut down. B truly has no interest in them. Which I understand, I wouldn't sleep with R either. Just not that good looking, okay? But R is now butthurt that B and CGF might be getting together and is trying to cockblock it. So Tuesday might not even happen now. Because if it does, it could ruin B and R's friendship. Oh the drama. THIS is why I told B to keep their mouth shut and find some strange. Avoid all the drama and feelings. 

Oh and wait, I forgot something. B forgot to give me two key pieces of information Thursday night. One, a family friend died and B was hurting. Two, CGF was at the hospital with one of their friend's and that's why they were running late on Thursday. If B had communicated those two pieces of information, I'd like to think I would have handled the whole curfew thing differently. Maybe.

Anyway, back to the drama. So, CGF doesn't want to hurt the friendship circle and now (well as of 10pm last night) is rethinking their hookup. It will probably still happen, but I am just finding all the drama crazy. Schoolgirl bullshit.

Me, I am over here making another date for Thursday, and a threesome for Friday. I am keeping my options open. I have a confirmed date Monday and Saturday. Let's see how the other two things shape up. I am interested in the threesome only to a slight degree. It would be a good time physically but am I interested in this couple. I don't know. It's a big scary move versus just a one on one. I've had threesomes, but only when I have been in the lead. Being sub is different. Who knows.

We are in Chicago. Seeing the kid tonight. Today is just a quiet day. Move at our own pace.