The anxiety is at its absolute worst in the middle of the night and early morning. It's when I wake up and they're not there. When the bed is empty and I am alone. That's when it kicks in and reality hits. It also hit last night when I was scrolling Her. Once again we were both online at the same time. But that I worked through. How? By reminding myself I AM DOING THE SAME THING. I am seeing them online because um duh, I'm right there. They're not being sneaky or hiding anything. We're both doing the same thing. They can see you too dummy. When my brain processes that it's like oh. yeah.
Yesterday was annoying in a lot of ways. The drunken pains were in my house. As promised though, I cut them no slack. I went about my day as if they were not there. I had shit to get done. Dishes, cleaning, etc. I went to home depot and bought a new weed whacker. Went to the pet store for litter. Got some cleaning done in the basement. They didn't get their asses out of bed until 1 fucking pm. B did send one of them a message later saying not cool. They were apologetic but it didn't change things for me.
We did do our yard work. Things look much better outside. The last time the gardener was here he half assed and it pissed us off. If he couldn't get his mower around it, he left it. So we had giant swaths of tall grass still. Hence the weed whacker. It's much nicer now. But that was some physical labor for sure. Afterwards, we stuck to our plans and watched Stranger Things. With a break for dinner (ribs) we made it through 3 episodes. After we both took a video game break. I went to bed around 10 but they stayed up scrolling for dates. Hello anxiety.
But again, stop asshole. You are literally talking to someone in another window and making a date for the 18th. Seriously I am. So stop. You have a date on the 13th. You're not a model of virtue here. And a coffee date on the 17th. See? Stop.
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