Thank the Gods I finally slept. Eight hours of tossing and turning and waking up every two, but I slept. I almost feel human. As human as someone like me can ever get.
Grabbed the Kid early in the morning yesterday and headed back to the old town. Mixed emotions on that. We saw everyone. Some of them I was glad to see, others were still the same back stabbing low life, chickenshit assholes they have always been.
For the record, you might think you are as cool as me, but you will never be as cool as me. You think you are hot, but you have nothing. You may now be the big fish in the little pond with this old man gone, but I will always be better than you. I am a big fish no matter WHAT SIZE pond motherfucker. Never forget that.
Coming back just made it clear why I had to leave. Felt too much like the novelty of the moment once more. There were a few honest moments and to those people I am grateful. They made me feel welcome without making me feel like an idiot.
And to one person in particular, thank you. It is ok to be smitten, isn't it? There's nothing wrong with that.
Stayed at a hotel because no one could seem to open their doors to us even though I have opened more than doors for many of them. You know what, it is what it is.
We texted more yesterday. Now I need to sit on it. Let it burn. Let it naturally do what it should do. It will burn and fade as is the way of the world. I can try to push it, to hold on to it, but should I? I might try once, maybe twice. But we shall what happens...
Off to enjoy one more vacation day.
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