Y2 D27

Another good day. And not one of complacency or mediocrity either. I was able to strike a good balance yesterday. Did some good work for my client, talked to our head of training about what happened in Phoenix. He wasn't totally happy with me, but he could see how I was getting nailed on some things that weren't 100% my fault. That's all I could hope for in this case. That yes, I went off script and I crossed a line, but at the same time, there were some additional circumstances.

Had dinner with an old friend from my previous job. He has been flying back and forth doing some consulting work himself. As of last night, he landed a full time SVP gig back in town and doesn't have to do the travel thing anymore. Who knows, this might in the future prove a benefit to me.

Regardless, I am happy for him. He has small kids and a new wife and shouldn't be dealing with all the road travel. Doesn't suit him. He is a much more stable guy and needs to be home on a regular basis.

We went out and celebrated his new position as well as just being able to see each other. Had a good time and was home around 10. Unfortunately I couldn't sleep and at 1 started baking. Ended up making cheesy cornbread at 1am. Came out pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

Also picked up a check yesterday which helped things. I am now ok for a few weeks until I can see how my regular checks are going to stand up against my monthly outgoing. I may need to see about negotiating a slightly higher base over bonus. We will see how that goes.

The kid and I stayed up until she crashed around 2. I putzed around some more than slept from 3 until about 5. Then I started in doing some work for my other client. Still have some more to do, but at least I was able to get ahead of the game early this morning.

I am feeling better about some things, and worse about others. I still need to break up with N1 because I can't shake the feeling that I am bad for her. Our lifestyles and personalities just aren't meshing in so many different ways. Plus I feel like she wants to change me. I think she sees me as some charity case she can mold into a better man. I don't need to be a better man - I am a god already. :)

We are supposed to go to the movies on Wednesday. I will see how that goes. We have plans for next Tuesday that I promised her and I don't break promises. I will wait until after the event. In other news, my infatuation still won't die. We are over 400 texts as of 2am this morning. Scary. Why can't either of us let it go?