ANA Y1 D131

56 hours until I see C again. Goddamn I am a mess for this girl. Luckily I have therapy this morning and can talk through some stuff. I need to get some things analyzed by a pro. Check my feelings sort of thing. Make sure I stay mindful and present. Thank god for my therapist. 

Taught for about 5 hours yesterday. Last class for Boeing for this round. I expect at least one more group before the end of the year. October is lighter than September, but still plenty busy. At least 10 more days on the calendar. God, I miss traveling. I could have been racking up some good miles and points. Oh well. Maybe 2023. Maybe. C came to my class again. She showed up naked. I held my cool pretty well but there was a moment there where I stumbled on my words. Luckily they had some stuff to do and I was given a reprieve. 

After class I had to help B with a printer issue. Fuck printers. Worst technology ever. Swear to god, you look at one wrong and it won't print. Lost 45 minutes of my life last night. Then I brought up a rug from downstairs for my office. This rug has been in storage since we moved because someone didn't like it. Not no more. My house. My taste. This is the way.

Went to "group" around 6. We did a movie night last night so it wasn't a normal group meeting. I brought all my stuff and set everyone up. Of course no one decided on a goddamn movie before hand. I ended up putting RHPS on of all things. They all watched the movie and I used the time to catch up with friends. I basically sat outside on the patio and had people come to me. The way it should be. I was happy to see and hang out with everyone. Got home around 11 to find B having another breakdown. This is your life. You made your choices. I'm sorry things are rough, but it's not my place to be your support system any more. You want to be divorced and hanging with your moose girl. Get comfort from her. Plus their off posting on Twitter about how in the future they won't have time for anyone. Yeah, good message to be sending. Let me know how that works out for you. They ended up going to taco bell at 11:30. Good decision. Keep up the good work.

I went to bed around 11:30. After therapy this morning I have a 10:30 - 6:30 but am NOT going out tonight. Going to stay home, make some food, and catch up on TV. Watch The Bear with C, maybe make some soup. I need a break. B leaves tomorrow night and my house will be mine for a day before I leave. But first, I need a shower.