ANA Y1 D137

Tuesday and still happy. Is that allowed? Was up until almost midnight talking. We were going through my portfolio and sharing so much joy it was sick. Our shared love of photography is a big common thing between. She said something to me over the weekend that has been sticking. She said she loves hearing my stories because unlike most people she has known in the past I have the receipts to back the stories up. I liked that. That's what last night was. We got on a topic and I made a comment about something as was like wait, let me show you the pics. I can back my stories up. Pics or it didn't happen? Fine, here you go.

Oh I remember what it was - we started talking about my new tiki light and how much I love tiki shit. I was saying how unfortunately I've not been allowed to have some of my stuff hanging or on display in the house because it didn't fit the aesthetic. Turns out, she too is a big lover of all this. We even looked up some tiki bars to go when she is here in November. I then went and pulled out a box of my tiki mugs from the basement that's been sitting gathering dust. As I was pulling them out she was getting more excited which made ME feel excited but also sad. The longer we talked, the more I realized how much of ME has been put to the side. How many of my loves have been muted and told they're not appropriate. How many sacrifices I have made to keep the peace or make someone else feel good.

Done, fucking done.

Taught during the day. New group. They're not bad. I was pretty happy. No issues. Met up with the (now) ex-gf for some tacos. I let her have her moment of talking about her newest one, her husband, her kids. I wasn't going to take the spotlight away from her. She deserves her happiness too. Not to toot my own horn, but she isn't over me. I could tell. It was all good. No drama. Got back home, talked with C for four hours. 

First day of no teaching. I have a 9-12 meeting with a client to help them with some stuff but otherwise, clean slate until group time. B is home. They got home around 5. I knew they were staying up all night as CGF's flight was at 5am. Don't expect to interact with them much today. Good.