ANA Y1 D133

I know this isn't the first thing I should be thinking about today, but it is - for the first time in almost 10 years, I didn't get a goodnight message. Matter of fact, I am confident we're going to go this whole time without saying anything to each other. This truly marks the end of an era. We are clearly done. You do not come back from this. But, truthfully, I am good. Sad, but good. I am allowed to be sad. The end of anything like this brings sadness and reflection. I hope wherever they are, they wake up happy this morning. I hope the path they are on brings them the joy they need. I know I am on a good path for me and it is bringing me pleasure. It is bringing me happiness. I truly hope they too are finding this. They deserve some peace. As do I. 

Same shit different day in many respects. Taught. After class I worked on putting up some new drapes in my office. I now have blackouts in here. Ate leftover chicken for dinner. B left around 3:30 so it was quiet. I just want to mention, it's also quiet in my head. Been quiet for days. Shows how much my problems are driven from stress. I remember when I was having GERD issues and shingles. All of that was stress driven. I removed the stress, the need for drugs went away. Go figure. I've removed many of the things causing me stress and look at me go. Now I need to lose all this pandemic and stress weight and I will be feeling pretty damn good about myself again. Talked on video for hours on and off with C. We both did our own activities but left the chat window open. I can't knock B any more for their behavior. I am now just as bad. Oh well.

Our new rings arrived yesterday. We did our official ring exchange early. Ending things on our own terms. I now get to wear a new ring this weekend. I love it, but it hits different.

Getting my hair fixed today. Not new yet. Still waiting for it to come in. Hopefully next week and I can have new hair before C comes in November. Then come home, load the car, and hit the road. Our main plan for today is literally, check in, have sex, sushi, more sex, movie, sex, sleep. Sounds like a good night to me. Let's get it rolling, shall we?