I have had a couple people ask me how I know exactly how long it's been since shit went to hell. Well, this is why I restarted the counting on this blog. It's been 76 days. So yeah, I am keeping track. Who knows, I may start renumbering again once I am divorced for the third time. I should have restarted when B and I got married so I could have kept track of that too. Oh well. At least I am tracking this. So yes, it's basically been 11 weeks from the time my spouse sent our lives into a spiral. Thanks for asking.
I taught yesterday all day. Then I installed a ceiling fan. I watched Sandman, had a lasagne, and went to bed. That's it. That was my day. Did I talk to anyone? Oh no. They did come by again while I was teaching. This time to dab and see the dog. While I was teaching of course. Other than that, no contact.
They are supposed to come home today. We'll see if they stay or not. We will see if anything has changed. We'll see if my heart is ripped in two and shoved down my throat. The other question/comment being made to me is why I am already assuming it's over. Because if I have hope, the pain will be worse and more than I can handle. If I am already prepped for it and have no hope, any pleasant outcome will feel that much better. Plain and simple. If things go as I am expecting, I am ready for it. I have been looking at new houses. I have been looking at areas to move. I know how much I can sell this one for and still be able to buy something new. At the same time, maybe I will just stay in it. In a week I never ran into B in the wild. Maybe I could just stay here and not cross paths with them. I don't know about that. But at least maybe another year to get some more equity. We will see.
A lot of fuck around and find out going on right now.
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