After much discussion with my therapist, I have come up with a plan on when, if, and how, I will be serving the papers. On September 1st, next Thursday, I will sit B down and let them know the following:
"Today marks six weeks since your incident, and 5.5 weeks since I have been shown any kind of physical, emotional, or verbal affection. This cannot continue. In order for this relationship to continue, the following must happen:
1. You must agree to go to couples counseling and an appointment must be made in the next 30 days.
2. You must agree to reinstate some type of affection, even verbal.
Both of these must happen by the end of September. If they do not, then I am serving divorce papers, and you have until the end of the month to vacate the premises. I will go through the house with you to create an inventory list to ensure you get the things due to you. In addition, I will continue to pay your bills through December but as of 1/1, you will be responsible for all your own debt."
That's it. If they want to continue to stay in this relationship, that's all they have to do. I am not limiting their time, their external activities, nothing. Go to counseling and start being more affectionate towards me. I don't think that's asking much of my fucking spouse. Let's see what happens. Until then, I will keep my distance, keep my mouth shut, and just slide.
Taught yesterday. Felt good to be back in the think of it. My group is a little frustrating but I was able to handle them. Finished a little after six and went to group. Got home around 11:30. Went to bed at midnight. B went out at 2, went to gf1 "to support" them, then a date with gf2. I don't know how they're doing it. Really don't. Both my therapist and my addict friend wonder if they're either on drugs or chasing the dopamine high that all this is bringing.
Something that did happen the other night is still pissing me off. They of course tried to slide in a trip to Alaska. Oh yeah, you heard me right. Fucking Alaska. Not only does this piss me off because they won't go on a plane for me, but they'll get on one for pussy, but to go to a place that is a bucket list item and an experience you share with a fucking spouse is just inexcusable. I was also told in relation to this that "my friends don't like you because you're too controlling". Excuse me? Do you friends know that I am the one who pays for everything? Are any of these friends actually married? Do any of these friends hear my side of the story? No. They don't. So their opinion means nothing to me. If you want to act and behave like a single person, then fine, you get to be a single person. Have fun. Hope you die.
They're going to CGF's going away party tonight. Bye. I'm going bowling with friends. I am establishing my own life, with my own friends so that I don't have major issues when I find myself single in the near future. Yes, I have accepted that this is more than likely my reality. It is what it is.
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