Yesterday was okay. Just okay. There was no real reason for it not to be if I am being honest, but last night I was just annoyed at B. I honestly don't know why. They didn't do anything wrong. I think maybe the last few days are finally catching up to me and I see what the future looks like? Maybe I am annoyed when I think about how long this will in fact take and how much I have to deal with between now and then? I don't know. I also slept really rough. I need the buspirone for the mornings, but they fuck up my ability to sleep. It's almost like I need to have one by my bed, wake up at 4, take it, sleep until 6. I went to bed around 11, laid there until midnight, slept for 20 minutes, woke up wide awake for an hour, slept for 30 minutes, etc. That was my cycle all night and it was fucking annoying. I think that annoyance I transferred to B because they seem so at ease with everything. I know that's not really true, they are just better at hiding things like this. Their ability to compartmentalize has always astounded me. I am also annoyed at my hair. I have an appointment saturday and it needs a good deep condition. I feel grungy. That's not helping my mood either. I don't know. Maybe today will be a better day.
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