Yesterday was both good and bad. No such thing as a bad day, right? Just bad moments. I wouldn't even go as far as saying it was "bad" either. Sad and emotional. We had to put down one of our babies. Yes, Belly lost her fight to cancer. We took her in at 8:30am yesterday, the doctor confirmed that she was days away and we were doing the right thing. She quietly passed while in our arms. That was a rough fucking time for sure. We both cried our eyes out. Everyone in the office was kind and gentle with us about it. It hurt a lot for sure, but it was okay. She is now in no more pain. She was a bitch of a cat, cranky, annoying, but we loved her and she loved us in her own way. She shall be missed. We ordered her ashes in an urn and two paw print statues. Man I'm crying again. Fucking cat.
From there the day was good. We spent the majority of the day together and we proved we could in fact be friends and nothing more. A key moment was when we both decided to go to different parts of the house, masturbate, and take naps. Weird, but pivotal. First that we could talk about that at all and second because we did what we said. We had lunch together and they went back into the bedroom to hang out. I went down and worked in the basement. During that, B's dad came over to work on our house. He is doing some siding work for us. Of course he left us with a big giant hole on the side of our house. Sigh. This is why I pay people to do work for us. Hopefully he won't leave it that way for too long. We did both come out to him yesterday. The range of emotions over the man's face until he finally said "ok" and went back outside to work. In the end, nothing came as a real shock to him. He knew B was gay and he always thought I was a little too feminine. All good there. Just a few more family members to tell. Then of course we have to tell them all we're getting divorced. That'll be fun. Our friend came over with ice cream to help us grieve Belly. Very kind of her. We sat and chatted for a while.
When everyone had left, we watched some Jersey Shore, went and had Polish food for dinner, came back, we took care of a couple house things together, B gave me a pedicure, and we watched a movie. It was alright. I would have enjoyed some cuddling, but I know I don't get that any more. No, I will get that this week from my gf. Yes, I am seeing her twice this week. Tomorrow for dinner to talk, then Thursday explicitly for sex. Tomorrow I may go over to another friends house to fuck. If she is up for it, I will be too. No puns intended. I will get laid twice this week one way or another. Why? Because B is out tonight, tomorrow, Tuesday, and Thursday. As am I, but they will get some three night of those four nights. I will only get it twice. That's okay. Still more than I was getting before we started all this. What was my number one problem last time? Lack of physical touch. This way if I am doing it in a healthy adult manner, what's the problem?
The bigger positive is we talked a lot yesterday about the future. We settled on a school and program for B. We planned out the rearranging of furniture to make us both happy during this period, we discussed more things they can take, we talked about them getting a storage unit, we talked about transferring the Jeep into their name, etc. But we did it without anger or fighting. I have some anxiety this morning and might take a buspar. BTW - I kept calling them wellies but they're buspirone. I don't know what I was getting that so confused. Whatever. Either way, I might take one today. Like now. Maybe. Trying not to, but it's hard.
I took one. Oh well. Speaking of meds, refilling my bica prescription. 90 days down, the rest of my life to go.
Today I am getting my nails done this morning and then we are going roller skating with a friend. When we get back B is going out. I am going to play video games and hang out. I teach a couple of days this week and I do have plans Mon-Thurs. Next weekend is open and it's a holiday weekend. Can you believe it's September already? Seems like just yesterday my wife was telling me she was gay. Oh life, you silly bitch.
Here is one last picture of our baby for all of you. Goodnight you dumb cat.
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